I'd Sacrafice My Beatin Heart Before I Lose You

13 days - excited.

Its amazing how things work themselves out. How you can spend so long pondering over something and be in nothing but utter confusion about it and then one day, wake up, and realize that you have it all figured out. And actually be for real about it. There is still so much in my life that I question and second guess and am not so sure about at the moment. But I'm only 21. I have time to figure those things out. On the things that truely matter right here and now, tho, I'm there. I know what I want and I know that nothing er nobody is going to stand in my way any longer.

** The only thing that I still believe in is you..**

I've figured out that I can live for me and still not be selfish. I know that there is nothing wrong with putting myself first at times, regardless if other people agree or understand it.

** You helped me live and learn.**

2010 ~ Happy New Year

Is it possible to have everything figured out but still be in utter confusion? I know, that made absolutley noooo sense but I'm not sure how else to put it!! I am completely happy but at the same time, not so much. I want more than anything for this year to be different, BETTER. I don't want the problems from last year to follow beside me this year... I'm making a strong attempt to brush everything off. Start brand new and I'll take care of everything as it comes my way.

**Define yer meaning of war. To me its wat we do when we're bored. I feel the heat coming up off of the blacktop, and it makes me want it more.**

I'm just so tired of being angry. And hurt. And all of those other emotions that nobody ever enjoys. I truely am looking for a change. No, I'll rephrase that. I'm in desperate need of one. And the only way for ANYTHING in my life to get better, I have to make one.

**Let's take a trip down memory lane. The word circling in my brain. You can treat this like another all the same. But don't cry like a bitch when u feel the pain..**

I want to face all of my problems and dilemma's head on. I'm through with backing down.

**This is hardly worth fighting for, but it's the little petty shit that I can't ignore. With my fist in yer face and yer face on the floor...**

I'm Letting Go.. Of The Shittiness In My Life

i feel like i needed a fresh start with this blogging thing. i'm not this happy, content person that everybody thinks that I am. there are so many individuals in my life that do nothing but take advantage of me. i am so tired of it. but do i dare say a thing? of course not. why piss somebody off when u don't have to? i contradict myself too often. i do things that i advise other ppl not to do. why? i have no clue. its easier to offer advice rather than actually follow it. even though i am pretty good at following my own at times. its just more simple more so on certain situations than it is on others.