Flyleaf.. definitley feeling their music today... their lyrics are just kinda fitting with my mood...
So, a rather interesting conversation with my soldier this morning has left me contemplating... It turned my mind back onto overdrive and the topic of our discussion is all that I can think of. Its a serious thing, a big deal, completely life-altering, but in an amazing way. I've just only got a few setbacks... Setbacks that I'm desperately trying to overcome, after all, I do not have much of a choice but to get passed them. They aren't going to change, so I guess that leaves the changing to me, right?
It never ceases to amaze me. The one thing that you always want is always the one thing that you can't have. And that feeling, that overwhelming feeling of desperately wanting, needing that simple thing never lets up. I dislike it very much so.
Today should be a good day.. I did get to talk to the love of my life multiple times (you have no idea how good that feels..) and I'm fixing to head to my bridal shower. Hopefully it stays this way. No breakdowns.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
My voice will be heard today...
Posted by My Secret To Happiness at 10:57 AM 1 comments
Friday, July 23, 2010
How do you truely find out who you are? Or what you want? I'm not even too clear on what my expectations are.. on anything, anymore. At some point over the past couple of years I've completely lost sight of just about everything. I know who matters to me. I know who is important. I haven't completely succeeded in having a backbone 100% of the time, but I'm getting better. Its just everything else that I have lost. I used to be able to get lost in my writing, now I can barely think of what to write. I used to have dreams and interests and love be social with friends, now its the complete opposite. My main focus of course is my marriage. Aside from that it's bills. Ever since I turned 18, that has had to be my focus. I completely robbed myself of the luxury of being, I guess, a teenager. Or perhaps it was my mother. Our relationship. After all that was the reason for me leaving as soon as I did. Of course, college was put on the back burner. I had to pay for my bills, stupid ex's bills, food, and all of the wonderful things adults get to do. Now, I have somebody doing that for me. Somebody who is giving that time and opportuniy back to me. And I don't know what to do with myself.. I'm completely wasting even more time. I could have accomplished so much more in these past 2 months and I'm still at square one...
Posted by My Secret To Happiness at 8:32 PM 0 comments
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
It doesn't matter when I'm coming home to you...
Posted by My Secret To Happiness at 1:07 AM 0 comments