Friday, May 7, 2010

I'm just completely and utterly exhausted. Mentally and physically. I can't even think straight, not that thats something new. I wish I could just get one full nights sleep. You know the good sleep, not the waking up every hour on the hour type. Very unlikely that it'll happen, just saying it'd be nice.
I think I'm different from a lot of people. I get lost inside my own head when I'm upset and stressed. I'm not a good people person. I'm not very sociable. Only with those close to me. I can't put up a front or a show if my life isn't going well.
Very pointless entry, just felt like writing something.

But all the miles that seperate, disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face..

Its a funny thing how dramatically emotions vary from day to day. How differently you feel about things in just 24 hours. Why can't a person just be nonchalant about problems? Stressing and worrying are just a pitiful way to waste the day.

**A hundred miles have made me older since the last time that I saw your pretty face...**

Its been a full day since I've heard from him. One day and I'm going crazy because I miss him so much. How sad is that? How am I supposed to be a good, supportive *army* wife when I can't even make it through a full 3 days without him? I was talking to a friend who gave me some very good advice. She told me that this is my time for me. My time to discover and find myself. She advised for me not to make him my entire life, but to make him simply a part of it. As wonderful as that sounds, its so much easier said that done. I find myself wanting to surround myself with friends but all the while I simply feel entirely alone, even when I'm in a room full of people. How do I fix that? He is the only thing in this world that makes me feel... complete.

** A thousand lies have made me colder and I don't think I can look at this the same..**

I need to find something to occupy my time. Something aside from work. I have my friends, but even something aside from them. I need to discover something that I am interested in, something that I can invest myself in and feel good about myself for. Hmm. It would be great if I even had the slightest clue of what that could be.

**Everything I know and everywhere I go, it gets hard, but it won't take away my love..**