Wednesday, May 12, 2010

I'm All Out Of Breath... My Walls Are Closing In...

I let too many people hold me back sometimes.. I've come to that realization. And its very hard to change that. I never realized how scared I am of disappointing people or even just pissing them off. I'll let people walk all over me long before I stand up for what I want and put a stop to it. How do you change that when you are so accustomed to it, like its second nature?

**Daylight dies, blackout the sky.. Is anybody there?? Does anybody care??**

Today marks day 2 without any letters, 3 days since a phone call. I'm surviving. Not going crazy or anything quite yet. Already tho, I'm sick of this distance, no contact thing. I don't see how women (girlfriends/wives) can handle this throughout their whole entire lives. One deployment is going to destroy me. I know this already. But when your husband is in the military and it is their career, 1 deployment is nothing. You go through several deployments each year. I don't think I could deal with being away from my husband that much throughout our lives. I guess you have to do what you have to do. And I may just have to get accustomed to it.

**No longer the lost.. No long the same..**