Sunday, January 17, 2010

**Keep your head up gorgeous, people would kill to see you fail.**

I believe that so many different things have continued to make me open my eyes wider and wider. I see things so differently now. I see people so much differently. I'm not as naive as I used to be. Granted, I'm still pretty naive, I continue to see the best in some people who just don't deserve it, but at least my eyes are open to it now. And I'm completely aware that they are nothing like what they once were. Not that anybody is like they once were. Life changes everybody and everything. The key is, not to let it change what you stand for and who you truely are deep down.

**There's a new wind blowin, like nothing I ever known. I'm breathin deeper than I've ever done..**

I'm actually following through with all of those *new years resolutions* that I've never stuck with previous years. And I'm proud of myself for it. I've learnt that sometimes you have to walk away from those who aren't doing you any good emotionally, no matter how hard it hurts. People rarely change. I've discovered that the hard way, on more than one occasion. Things are pretty tough right now, but I'm doing my best to keep my head up and not let it nor anything bring me down.

**I've forgiven myself for all the mistakes I've made..**

I know I'm not perfect and that sometimes I will not live up to the expectations that others have for me. All I can do is my best in life for my friends, my family, and myself. If I can tell myself that I have done all that I can do, I know I will not have any regrets. I look at myself over the past couple of years, in different types of relationships && friendships && I've noticed things I'm not entirely happy with. Things that I didn't see then but I see clearly now. I am NOT a doormat for anybody to wipe their feet on. I won't tolerate anybody taking advantage of me. Relationships are 50/50. If I can do my part and you can't do yours, then there isn't a relationship there. I refuse to keep people in my life whom I have to keep at a distance. Aside from those that I have no choice but to keep there. I don't have to have anybody in my life that brings me down. There is no sense in it. What kind of life would I be living if I continued to feel the need to watch anything and everything I say and do?

**I used to run in circles, going no where fast..**

I know there are many out there who just do not understand. They don't understand me nor the things I do. And thats fine. I don't feel the need to have to explain myself everytime I turn around. Its my life, right? I'll live it the way I choose to.