Highlights of my day: spoke with my wonderful husband & felt my lil man kick :)
Thursday, April 28, 2011
You Just Call Out My Name & I'll Come Running...
Posted by My Secret To Happiness at 9:40 PM 0 comments
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
You Are Not Alone Tonight... Imagine Me There By Your side...
1. He is the most giving, kind-hearted person I know, once you get past his hard exterior.
2. His love for his family runs deep.
3. He doesn't let people get too close.
4. He is anything but selfish. He cares most about providing for his family. He puts himself last, even when he shouldn't.
5. He sings. All the time. Random songs. In the shower, in the car, doesn't matter.
6. He has an undying love for motorcycles.
7. Exploring nature. Get him around a beach with little creatures or a lake or just around any type of creature period & he is like a big kid. (who am I kidding? he's ALWAYS a big kid lol)
8. He doesn't give himself enough credit. (but lucky for him, thats what I'm there for :) )
9. He loves jui jitsu & is pretty damn good at it.
10. He's headstrong & determind.
Posted by My Secret To Happiness at 12:56 PM 0 comments
Sunday, April 24, 2011
day 10 & happy easter :)
Posted by My Secret To Happiness at 10:45 PM 0 comments
Saturday, April 23, 2011
30 day challenge -- days 7,8,9 && sigh...
So, I've been slacking. its a shame i want to do this little challenges, but i'm such a scatterbrain, i always forget....
These past few days have actually been quite wonderful. road trip on friday, girls' "date" night tonight... lots and lots of catching up... i absolutely love my friends. they are such amazing people. but all the while I just don't feel like myself. For whatever reason. Maybe I'm lonely, maybe I'm just full of self-pity. Maybe I'm just reconsidering and re-evaluating way too many aspects of my life. Who knows?... There is so much running through this brain of mine... And I'm simply not thrilled with where my thoughts are leaving me. Lost and confused. Not very comforting. It can't be natural to feel this unsure about things... Not after this long. Ugh. I wish things could be simple and clean-cut sometimes. Life's funny, isn't it?
Anywho, enough with all of that... On to the challenge...
Day 7 ~ If you were trapped on a desert island, who would be with you & what limited 2 items would you two have?
Hmm... The hubs, of course, would be with me. I'm going to assume construction supplies and a boat are off-limits. So... hunting gear? a fishing pole, insect repellent?
Day 8 ~ Describe your perfect date...
If I happened to be back on the dating scene, as great as the whole "romantic dinner & a movie" sounds to some people, it sounds blahhh to me. I want to enjoy what we do. I want something different -- something that brings out our personalities and what we enjoy, who we are... So, simply, something exciting -- anything non-cliche.
Day 9 ~ Write the differences between you and your best friend....
Its very simple. I'm very quiet & reserved. My bestie is all but that. Our values are the same as well as most of our standpoints. She is very secure, I am not. She has her head on straight, mine continously spins out of control... I'm sure you are seeing the pattern here...
Night all.
Posted by My Secret To Happiness at 10:39 PM 0 comments
really wish this feeling would go away. i know i do NOT need to read too deep into anything. bc everything i'm thinking it is, more than likely its not. deployments are like this. communication sucks sometimes. he's going through stuff, i'm going through stuff, sometimes its just brief and lackthereof. it just hurts. i'd just prefer anything over this. :(
Posted by My Secret To Happiness at 10:21 AM 0 comments
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
30 day challenge - day 6
Posted by My Secret To Happiness at 7:32 PM 0 comments
wee bit wednesday
Today has been one of those blah, emotional type days. I had my ultrasound this morning with the company of my wonderful & amazing father & best friend. It showed our lil munchkin to be doing wonderful :) He's so active & as silly as it sounds, seeing him bouncing around in my belly, he already reminds me of his daddie. I am so thankful for the support system I have here. Never I am truely alone -- I was blessed with specific individuals in my life who are always by my side... However, today, laying on that table in that room, the blue-goo pasted on my belly, I felt a little beside myself. Granted, I always feel an overwhelming burst of happiness/giddiness when I see my little man, just today something was missing. Someone. Some days are easier than others. I can pretend he is just away or whatever helps at that time, but days like today, his absence is hard. Going through this pregnancy without him physically by my side hurts. I wish more than anything that he was here. It would make things so much better... But enough with that... Things such as this as those that I cannot change... I can't dwell on the fact that he isn't here, I can only be thankful that he is somewhere & that we are allowed to communicate -- that counts for something, right?
Well, anyways, for a change of subject... Another new little thing I found... Go over to http://www.myleighashley.com/ & link up :) Her page is pretty cute as well!!
{one} How often do you do laundry?
Back when the hubs was home & I was on a normal routine, usually about once a week. Now that it is just me & of course, once lil man makes his grand appearance, I'm sure all of that will change.
{two}What is your favorite type of cookie?
Omg... I am craving cookies now!!! I loooooove cookies :) All different kinds, shapes, & sizes, but my all time favorite has to be the good ol original ooey gooey choco chip :)
{three}What would you do with an extra 2000 a month?
Save it. Pay off whatever bills that needed to be paid off & after that, in the bank it would go.
{four}What is/was your favorite subject in school?
If you count the "extra" courses you were allowed to take, photography was my fave :) but out of the normal curriculam, English. I didn't mind to read & all of the other stuff just came naturally to me. Or History. I'm a big history nut, well, I guess I wouldn't go as far as to say that, but I certainly never cared to learn about past events. Life back in the day always interested me.
{five}Have you ever ridden in a hot air balloon?
This would be a no. However, I would absolutley LOVE to!!! If given the chance, the hubs and I will definitley have to at some point.
{six}What was your high school mascot?
Black panther
{seven}If you had the chance to go into space, would you?
The idea of going into space in THEORY is awesome & I would love to, but in reality, no. Not only does it take FOREVER to get into space, the process is actually very hard on a human being. And I'm not a skeptic, but what if something happened once you got there? Ran out of fuel or crashed? I don't think so.... lol.
{eight}How often do you go dancing?
Never! I'm actually disappointed because. Hubs isn't big on the bar scene nor the club scene. And the VERY few times we do go out, other guys always seem to be a little inappropiate or grabby with me (I do NOT provoke it, just to throw that out there...) & well, you simply get the picture..
{nine}Would you rather drive or fly?
DRIVE!!! Loooooong drives and the music blaring from the radio, there is NOTHING like it. Not to mention the scenery along the way!! Granted it takes twice as long, but during that extra time is where you make the most memories!!
{ten}Have you ever been caught re-gifting?
Never have I re-gifted!!
Posted by My Secret To Happiness at 3:06 PM 0 comments
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
30 Day Challenge - Day 5
Name somebody you would like to trade lives with for a day and why.
My great-grandmother Munsell. She was an incredible woman who lived for her family. She endured so much during her lifetime -- physical and emotional abuse, hard life on the farm, the great depression.... However, she expressed so much strength. I feel so weak at times simply by being so alone but my life is nowhere near as bad as it could be. Women, like my great-grandmother, who go through more than any human being ever should have to, and decide not to let it bring them down and allow themselves to still thrive inspire me. If only I could obtain that strength and courage. She was a remarkable woman.
Posted by My Secret To Happiness at 10:23 PM 0 comments
Monday, April 18, 2011
Hmm... today I really don't have any vents or well, much to say. It has been one of those not-so-good, not-so-bad, in-between days. Got to facebook chat with my amazing hubs tho, that was definitley a plus :) Its so crazy how a single individual can make your entire morning light up just simply by talking to you -- even over an im screen :)
30 day challenge - Day 4
What was the last movie you watched? Write about it.
Ok. So most of you will think I'm silly. I just got back from my bestie's house & we like to have our little "disney" nights. Therefore, the last movie I watched was The Rescuers Down Under. lol. As I kid, it seems like I was deprived of so many disney movies. Heck, I had never seen Cinderella until a couple of months ago & thats a classic haha. Anywho, there's not much to go into on what it was about hence its a cartoon -- a little boy gets kidnapped so a bird & 3 little mice go to rescue him. They rescue him. The end :)
I do believe I am going to call it a night. One day down this week, 6 more to go :)
Posted by My Secret To Happiness at 10:26 PM 0 comments
Sunday, April 17, 2011
30 Day Challenge - Day 3
Posted by My Secret To Happiness at 2:15 PM 0 comments
There's A Time To Listen, A Time To Talk, And You Might Have To Crawl Even After You Walk...
Posted by My Secret To Happiness at 1:50 PM 0 comments
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Posted by My Secret To Happiness at 8:28 PM 0 comments
Thursday, April 14, 2011
30 Day Challenge Day 1
Posted by My Secret To Happiness at 8:19 PM 0 comments
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Wordless Wednesday
Posted by My Secret To Happiness at 10:57 PM 0 comments
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Everyday is a new day. That is the only way you can look at it. It can bring in wonderful things or well, not so wonderful things. You are going to have your ups and downs. Some days you may smile when inside you are falling apart. Other days you may smile and really mean it. And thats ok. Its ok to be happy and hell, its ok to cry. Just realize that this is only temporary. As long as 6 months or 7 or a year seems (& most of the time, it DOES seem like an eternity), it is not forever. He WILL come home. Things WILL be normal again. You WILL get past this milestone. I am doing everything possible to remind myself of that everyday. Especially on those "downer" day, like today. I woke up this morning, instantly on the verge of tears. (Still I am not able to distinguish pregnancy hormonal-ness from simply being emotional and missing him.) He hasn't made it to his very last destination yet but should be there rather soon. Hence, communication will soon be cut to the very minimum, if not completely. (Yes. I know. Be thankful I'm even getting to hear from him. Which I am, by the way.) I would love to talk to him more, but the occasional text that I've been receiving since he left is just very comforting and well, very much looked forward to. And it pulls at my heart more and more knowing that I'm going to have to give that up. Granted, I know it comes with the territory. I just don't have to like it. It makes the fact that he really isn't here, well, suck. On a bright note, I've made it half-way! On my pregnancy, that is. Ultrasound next week. I'm so excited to see my lil man again -- only this time, he will be a bit bigger :) I can't believe how quickly those first 5 months flew by. If only these next 4 would do the same. I'm beginning to get impatient. (Yes. Already. I know... I'm in for it.) But I'm ready to meet him -- face to face, hold him, spoil him :) For now, however, I'll enjoy my sleep (or should I say, the very little sleep that I do receive.)
Posted by My Secret To Happiness at 11:24 AM 0 comments
Mornings like these are the worst. I just can't get it together. I feel like a complete and total emotional wreck.
Posted by My Secret To Happiness at 9:16 AM 0 comments
Sunday, April 10, 2011
-- You'll Be On My Mind Wherever I Go --
Today has definitley been one of the better days I've had. The past few have been a tad bit rough, but hey, rough days happen. Thank God for the wonderful people in my life, they get me through so much more than they ever could realize. I've got a little bit to write, but it'll have to come later... Baby Tyler is making me super sleepy tonight :) I love these little weekly things, so here goes from MannLand 5 :)
the q's & a's --
1. Do you watch/read the news?
I try to avoid it as much as possible but sometimes it is just easier said than done.
2. How would you describe your "look"?
Honestly, pretty plain. As much as I want/try to change it up, I feel like I dress and look just about the same as I did my senior year of high school... (about 3 years ago.)
3. Did you play sports in high school/college?
I'm was and am waaay to athletically challenged to play any sports recreationally more less for a team. I'm not too coordinated.... Ok, I'm not coordinated at all lol.
4. Would you rather give up lip stick/gloss or high heels?
I really don't wear much of either. Now, if flip flops or chapstick were the options, then it would definitley be a toss up lol.
5. What's your favorite show to watch on tv?
I've got a few... Army Wives (haha.. who woulda guessed right?!) Teen Mom (whether it annoys me or not) and Law And Order SVU (reruns or new).
6. Would you rather bake or cook?
Baking is the best... I love sweets waaaaay too much & when I think of baking, sweets are what comes to mind. The cooking part I'm really trying to work on. My bestie & I are getting a place of our own soon -- I'm bound and determind to me one heck of a cook by the time the hubs gets home!!
7. Shorts or skirts?
Shorts. Definitley shorts. I told you, I'm more of a simple type of girl.
8. What's your favorite scary movie?
Ha. A few years ago I could have answered this one easily. I've become a skeerdie-cat when it comes to scary movies now... But I'd have to say the newer Amityville Horror -- Ryan Reynolds shirtless for roughly 2 hours, I mean, seriously?!
Thats all for tonight :) Night everyone!
Posted by My Secret To Happiness at 8:41 PM 0 comments
Thursday, April 7, 2011
What do YOU do to keep busy during these awfully long deployments? Having a job or going to school are always nice, but what about the rest of your day?
Posted by My Secret To Happiness at 12:32 AM 1 comments
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
I am not lucky, I am blessed. It's a fact that I am realizing more and more as each day passes. Not all get to have the experiences that I do -- to know all that love has to offer, to know the true meaning of happiness. And right now, more and more, I'm seeing how happy I am -- how all of those twists and turns along the way these past few years, have brought me to where I need to be. Also, how they made me grow and learn so I could honestly appreciate and be aware of what I have. I am very priveleged to be able to say I married my best friend -- nobody knows me better than he does & nevre have I felt as comfortable, safe, & secure as I do with him (not to mention all of the lovey-dovey feelings that still exist :) ) I've just been spending the day reflecting. It's been one of those kinds of days. I'm somewhat taken aback by how much has changed over the years. 3 years ago, the army certainly wasn't in mind for our future nor was having a baby so soon. Friends that I always thought would be there slowly slipped away and/or showed some true (& awful) colors. I realized, also, that as good of a friend that I always try to be, I need to learn to be better -- to learn forgiveness and to be open/honest with not just others, but myself as well. I need to learn that I'm not going to always agree with others and how they live their lives but at the same time, they may not exactly approve of all the decisions I make myself -- life & friendship isn't about judging -- its about joining along for the ride. Everybody is different. Thats another thing -- I've learnt that there is still so much I do not know about myself and I've opened my eyes as to how much that fact scares me. I've got to get out there and give myself the opportunity to find out who I am & what I'm really about. That opens a huge goal for me this upcoming year. And I plan on putting every effort into successfully completing it. I feel like I have so much weighing on my mind. Ever feel like you just can't think clearly? Like everyday is just a blur? I have so many jumbled thoughts and emotions -- I feel like I need a filing cabinet to sort them all out. I feel like I bottle way too much up inside and just push it to the back of my mind -- planning on confronting and sorting it all out at a later date or perhaps, just forgetting about things altogther. Sadly, that just gets me into funks, like today. Anywho, as always, I've been browsing other wives' blogs and found this survey & for whatever reason, I always have to fill them out :) Military Wifey Survey -- from Simplysteele.blogspot.com
Posted by My Secret To Happiness at 2:31 PM 2 comments
Saturday, April 2, 2011
So far, I think I'm keeping a pretty good outlook on things. Granted, we haven't gotten too far at all into the deployment, but I'm doing better than expected. Once I get the apartment & have more time to myself, I'm sure things will unravel a bit more -- when you are alone, you think more & you have way more time to worry -- but I'm not looking that far ahead. One day at a time, right? & today, well, was a good day :) I promise to try to keep all of the "this is so hard, I don't think I can do this, I miss him too much..." pitty posts to a minimum. I know there are many of you wonderful ladies who have survived and/or are surviving this very same things therefore I am relieved to know it is possible :) Just some days, as you all know, are a lot better than others.
Posted by My Secret To Happiness at 10:06 PM 0 comments
I left today. I can't even put into words how heartbreaking it was. Saying goodbye can be quite painful, but this hurt unlike anything I have ever felt before. The entire day, a huge lump remained in my throat and all one had to do was mention what was to come in a matter of hours and the tears would promised to come. The ride to the airport was quiet and tense. The goodbye was awful. Feeling his arms around me and knowing it was going to be the last time I felt his embrace for a very long time was overbearing. I didn't want to let him go. I know I looked like a crazy woman -- going through security, heading towards my gate, constantly looking over my shoulder, feeling his eyes on me as I walked away -- myself in tears each time. Seeing the pain on his face as he himself tried not to cry was worse than any of it. I must have broke down into tears a dozn times on the way to my gate -- onlookers staring at me like I was derranged or something. Now, Im just waiting. Waiting for this emptiness and constant need to cry to pass. Lord knows missing him will not get easier, but hopefully passing the time will. I'm already counting the days until we will together again -- til our little family can be, well, a family. Please keep him and his unit unit in your thoughts and prayers.
Posted by My Secret To Happiness at 12:13 AM 1 comments