Deployment.

I found an unsent letter the hubbie had written to me while he was in basic. The time setting was very close to the end of it all, when in just a week or so, I would finally be in his arms again. It brought a rush of emotions to me. (What's new, right?) And I know I've said it before, but I do not know how I am going to get through this deployment. I remember how alone I felt. But at least I knew he was safe. I'm hearing all of these horror stories about Afghanastan && it doesn't help my overanalyzing mind. Is it bad that I am that selfish? I do not want to go through it and even more so, I don't want my husband subjected to all that he is going to be exposed to. (More than any individual should ever have to see/do) I hear from other wives how different he will be, how many habits he will pick up, and of course, how he will never be the same. I don't want that for him. I don't wish that for anybody. I watch him everyday... He's always joking, acting like a geek, laughing, smiling... Is that all going to change? What is he going to be like?... I've never been more scared of anything in my life. Ugh. What a whiner I must sound like.