You used to be my rock, the person who made everything okay. I admired so much about you and strived to be like you -- but you overlooked me. How was I to know how terrible things truly was? That you didn't have it together as well as I believed. I never knew the problems were so huge and awful, even then. I never would have dreamed that you would allow them to overcome you as you have. I still cannot believe how they have made your priorities change. It tears me apart inside that these "problems" you are completely aware of yet refuse to do a thing about and how you place them above everything else. I know for a fact I will never be able to forgive you nor forget what you have put the people I care most about as well as myself through -- especially since you never seem to show any remorse nor acknowledgement towards any of it.

I've decided to not follow a guide, if there is something on my mind, I'm going to vent. There's too much flowing in this head of mine. Someway, somehow I am going to have to be able to collect my thoughts and make sense of everything.