Ever had one of those powerful, intense dreams? The ones that feel soooo real that when you wake up, it takes a minute or two for you to realize you were only dreaming? I had one. It was a major let down to my morning. 19 more days of waiting to be in his arms... These next couple of months, the time is going to fly by, even as I desperately attempt to slow it down. I keep thinking to myself, this month was awful. It still continues to take its precious time on moving past. Once I have to say good-bye to him for a year, how is it going to work then? A 30 day countdown is one thing, but a year? (I know -- I must sound like a broken record...)

At the same time, though, as much as I don't want that dreaded date to make its mark, I'm ready for it to just get here. I'll never be ready to say good-bye or see ya later. But the sooner it gets here, the sooner he will be coming home. At least that is the way I'm trying to look at it. I'll have a bit more to occupy my time. Once school is done and over with, my little lovebug will be making his/her appearance & if that doesn't occupy all of my time, then nothing will!! I'll have my own place & my own vehicle again. As much as I appreciate my bestie for taking me in this month, I miss my own home -- doing my own grocery shopping, my own bed, & not having to depend on anyone to take me anywhere. Although, I will miss having somebody to stay up until 3 in the morning with on my routinely sleepless nights.

Finally, after 2 weeks of a very persistant infection taking residence in my sinuses, I'm feeling sooo much better. I forgot completely how wonderful it is to be able to breath out of my nose. However, I just don't feel like I can get caught up on my rest. Hopefully that'll change soon.

Anywho...

Day 4

A Picture Of Someone You Have Been The Closest To The Longest

My Dad. He has been my rock, my best friend for as long as I can remember. The two of us has been through a lot... As father and daughter, as individuals... But we always have had each other to fall back on. I am so lucky to have a person like him in my life, let alone, to know him as my father.

You'll Be On My Mind Wherever I Go... We Were Meant To Be...

Another day with the pregnancy/missing my hubbie blues. I know I have to pull myself out of these little blah days & I know I can... I know he's not going to be gone for the much longer, its a fact, but some days it doesn't matter how much I tell myself that I'll be in his arms soon, soon just doesn't feel like it gets here quick enough. My impatientness doesn't help too much either...

So, a fellow Army wife sent me this link. Its from a military member who sings pretty damn well. His name is Tyler Toliver and even though after listening to his song "Live Our Dream" for a couple of minutes, I break down into tears, there is something about this mans voice that just captivates me. Go to YouTube and check him out :D

Anywho,

Day 3

A Photo Of Your First Celebrity Crush

So, it was definitley a toss up between these two. I had my major obsessions back in the day... Nsync, Leo, Backstreet Boys... It didn't take much for me to *crush* over celebrities lol.

& if you could read my heart, you would know, without exemption, it was all with the best of intention...

The pregnancy got the best of me this morning. Official first day of nausea, that lasted, well, more than half of the day. Not too sure if I had something to do with causing it a little, but oh well. Hopefully I'll take after the mother (on just this one thing) & not endure morning sickness & all of that goodness that much. I can't believe I'm 7 weeks. Not too far along, but the weeks are just flying by.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about what to do once deployment gets here... Move back here, deliver, & do whatever until he gets back? Or should I just tough it out and stay in Hawaii? I was a little certain that is what I really wanted before I got pregnant -- minus the fact that the husband didn't like the idea too much -- but now, having a newborn, I'm a little more nervous to be on my own. Plus, the baby's grandaddy doesn't want to be away from his grandbaby any more than he has to. Hmm. Maybe I should suck it up & just come back to good ol' Kentucky, as much as I hate the sound of that...

Amy's class was AMAZING this morning. I only wish I would have began to attend quite some time before now, I could push myself a little bit more. However, I'm bound and determind to stay as active and healthy throughout these next 9 months as I possibly can :)

Anywho...

Day 2.

A Picture Of One Of Your Favorite Memories

Compared to what we are about to go through, 4 months was nothing. At the time, however, 4 long months without him was so hard! Especially since we spent absolutley every waking moment with each other our entire relationship. Being able to see and hug and kiss him after all of the time -- feeling those butterflies -- was such an amazing feeling. Bringing him home after this definitley is one of my most favorite memories.

I've been seeing a lot of these 365 day photo challenges or simply just these 30 day tasks things. They are somewhat gaining my interest. Take the entire year to try something new and divide it into months, changing it up every 30 days... I think I like the sound of it. Maybe something small to help lift my spirits up until I start school, until I have the baby, until my husband leaves & returns home lol. Something to last until I can finally end all of my little countdowns.

Anywho, here goes:

Day #1

A picture of you with 5 facts.

1. I love hard... and unconditionally.

2. My husband (and baby-to-be) are the most important individuals in my life... They both have had such a huge impact on my life...

3. I'm a complete daddy's girl -- he is my best friend.

4. I trust easy... Until it back fires on me one too many times, then it is next to impossible to earn back.

5. I have lots of dreams for my life and the determination to make them all come true.

That's it for tonight... Perhaps a decent nights sleep will present itself tonight :D

You Know That I Love You, I Don't Want To Leave You...

Having a rough night. A rough night of many. People really do not realize how easy they have it in this life, do they? It aggravates me how people take advantage of the little things in their lives and still tend to act like they have it bad. Why stay in relationships if you constantly talk as if you are unhappy with the person you are with? Don't be petty and stay simply because you are comfortable. Pack up & move on to the next stage in your life. It IS as easy as that. Many couples go WITHOUT their significant others & would give anything to have them by their sides at night when they go to bed & here you are complaining because of something trivial, about being so miserable, yet you do NOTHING to improve your situation. Geez, get over yourself & go make a better life for your own good!!. Ugh.

Good Bye 2010, 2011, I Already Know What You Have In Store For Me...

I'm quite shocked at how fast the holidays came and went this year. Things always get frantic and crazy around Christmas, but I don't think I ever remember time flying by as it just did. I look back and 2010 was merely a blur. Lots of good times. Tons of changes. A lot of memories. I kind of hated to say good-bye to it. But... who gets anything out of staying in the past, right?... As I find myself reminising, however, my mind drifts off into thoughts of the future & all of the obstacles laying there and when I first found out the dates & the details, I was scared. But now that time is almost here, I'm worse off than ever.
I've been talking to other wives and/or reading their stories and I can't even begin to say the compasion, admiration, and respect I have for these women. It frustrates me to hear wives complain about how hard their life is -- raising children, working, etc... -- (mind you, I'm referring to couples, not those single ladies doing it all on their own.) when I hear about all of these others who give a completely different meaning to strong. But it makes me question myself -- can I do it? Can I make it through, keep my head up, and be an amazing support for my husband? I've been told that I'm tough, strong-willed, and determind. However, I am all of that when he is by my side... Taking him away is like taking my heart....
As much as I try not to be a downer, it is very difficult. Its hard to stay positive when you have a pretty good idea of what lies ahead. Especially, when there is nothing you can do to change it. I guess, all I can do is have faith... What is that quote? "God will never put more trials on you than you can bear..."

-- "There's no way I can see you for who you are when I can't forget who you were..." --